saying that you have to be married and divorced at least once so that you will know what not to do in your second marriage. I do not really believe this, but I can say I did learn a lot about marriage and myself. I use those life lessons so to have a better marriage now. I remember when I told my ex-husband, during our divorce, that no matter if we hate each other, we cannot talk negatively behind each other’s back. Even more important, we cannot be negative in front of our children. Nor will we argue and fight, because this would only hurt them. You have to rise above a divorce and love your kids more than you dislike your ex. Please do not use your kids for revenge or spite. Our children should not pay for our mistakes. Make the relationship work for them. This is not always easy! It sure takes a lot of patience and willpower.
Birthday parties for my kids have included my ex-husband, his new wife, her mother, my ex-in-laws, their cousins, my husband, my mother-in-law, and our friends. We have had sixty people at a party. Isn’t this the way it should be? My ex-mother-in-law even joked to a family member once that they have tried to get rid of me, and I wouldn’t go away. Even though it was a joke, it is true. They will always be my children’s grandparents. They are good to them, love them, and support them. Why would I ever discourage or interfere with that relationship? Where my kids go… I go. Th y were like my parents while I was married to Scott. I will always love them for that and because of the way they love my children. I know they love me, too! I’ve heard people say when you get a divorced you lose their family as well. I did not accept those terms at all. I feel deep in my heart it is extremely important that my children be surrounded with love. This was much more important to me than any hard feelings I could harbor while we went through the divorce process.